Fic - Hold On

[branwen_blaidd]

Title: Hold On
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: Adult -  sex and swearing 
Spoilers: 2x4 Meat
Summary: Sequel to Jealousy, Jack lets Ianto know how he feels.
Disclaimers: I own nothing!
Notes: This is a sequel to Jealousy and I’m not sure if it works, but we’ll see!

 

 

Ianto pulled back from the kiss and let Jack led him downstairs to Jack’s quarters. Jack ran his hands over Ianto’s waistcoat covered chest. It was already undone.

“God, I love your waistcoats,” Jack murmured.

Ianto felt fuzzy suddenly. It must be the whiskey. He fumbled with Jack’s buttons, barely aware of Jack undressing him. Then they were naked and pressing into each other. Jack was all heat and deep movements and then he was lifting Ianto into his arms and tipping him onto the bed.

Ianto suddenly became aware of Jack pulling away from him and gazing down at him. “Ianto, you’re…have you seen yourself?”

Ianto propped himself up and looked down at his body. His skinny frame was covered in bruises. He’d had worse injuries in his time at Torchwood, but he still looked pretty bad. He’d taken quite a beating from that guy. He shrugged.

“Sorry. I look awful.”

Jack shook his head. “No. I just…I didn’t realise you were hurt this bad.”

“I’m not. Jack, they’re just bruises. I bruise easily.”

“No, you don’t. I should know.” Jack slid onto the bed beside Ianto and took hold of his hand.

Gently, he raised Ianto’s hand to his face and took in the braised skin and the bruised thumb.

“It…erm…hurt getting out of those bindings,” Ianto murmured.

Jack nodded. “My knots are better.” He placed soft kisses along the sore flesh and gently licked the sore thumb. Ianto let out a low whimper.

“Jack,” he whispered.

Jack let his lips move further down Ianto’s arm, pausing to lick the delicate juncture of his inner elbow. From there, he moved across to Ianto’s chest, smoothing his lips and tongue over the bruises, then up to Ianto’s lips.

Ianto reached out and grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling him Jack against him and rubbing against him.

Jack jerked into him. “Fuck, Ianto!”

Ianto held him tight and they rocked together, cocks sparking against one another.  

Jack’s eyes were focused completely on Ianto’s face. “What do you want, Ianto?”

Ianto swallowed. He didn’t quite know how to respond. He didn’t know how to react when Jack was like this. Ianto knew Jack was asking about more than sex.

“I…I want…I don’t know what I want, Jack.” He wanted to say he wanted to be loved and cared for but it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to ask something of Jack that he couldn’t give. It wasn’t fair to remind Jack that he couldn’t fix everything.

Jack was looking at him evenly, eyes so intense that for a moment Ianto was afraid he could read his mind. But he couldn’t feel any odd pushing at the edge of his thoughts, like he had other times.

“Ianto. I want to give you what you want.” He raised his hand and caressed Ianto’s face with one large hand. “Ianto Jones.” He smiled but it was a somewhat sad smile. “You never say what you want, do you?”

Ianto looked away. Jack’s hand was in between them, gently working Ianto’s cock. Ianto squirmed against him, the pleasure shooting through him. He wanted this. He wanted this forever.

Jack’s fingers were inside him, brushing that spot and Ianto’s eyes fluttered closed. It was almost too much. He could feel Jack’s eyes on him still.

Then Jack was inside him, pushing all the way inside and Ianto couldn’t breathe. He clung to Jack as Jack pushed all the way inside him.

“Jack,” he whispered. This was what he needed. A good hard shag, like usual. He didn’t have a normal life like a normal person but this got him through. Just Jack. Just this, every night. It didn’t matter that he’d almost died because now he was here in Jack’s bed getting fucked.

“Open your eyes,” Jack hissed. It was a command and Ianto instinctively obeyed.

Jack’s eyes were burning with intensity and Ianto felt like they were looking into one another’s souls. Ianto wanted to look away. It was too intense. Jack was looking at him like he was the only person in the world. Ianto couldn’t bear it.

“Oh no. Don’t you look away from me,” Jack said, cupping Ianto’s face hard and not letting him look away.

“Jack, please.”

Ianto couldn’t bear it. He closed his eyes and listened to Jack panting and grunting with pleasure. He pushed up into Jack as Jack thrust into him.

Then Jack’s hand wrapped around Ianto’s cock, jerking hard and Ianto was coming, bucking hard into Jack’s hand and writhing beneath him. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. All he could feel was Jack pulsing inside him, shooting the pleasure into him.

Then Jack was still and his arms curled tight around Ianto. Ianto clung to the weight of him, his breathing shallow under Jack’s heaviness.

Ianto’s eyes were still squeezed shut, as tight as he could. He could feel Jack’s eyes on him, almost see him in his mind.

Ianto held onto Jack tight. Slowly, he began to realise that Jack was trembling. Ianto opened his eyes and looked at Jack.

Jack’s hands were either side of Ianto’s head, propping him up and Jack was looking at Ianto as if he couldn’t quite believe what he could see.

“You almost died today.” Jack’s voice was matter of fact but his eyes were so dark, so deep with something Ianto couldn’t quite discern.

Ianto didn’t want to think about that. He didn’t want to think about that moment on the floor with that gun pointed right at him. He didn’t want to think about the moment the finger had squeezed the trigger.

“You could have died.” Jack’s voice forced itself inside Ianto’s brain.

“Please, Jack, don’t.”

Jack pulled away. Ianto watched him. Jack rolled off the bed and grabbed his discarded boxer shorts and yanked them on. He threw Ianto’s at him.

“Jack?”

“You almost died,” Jack said, each word definite and ringing in Ianto’s ears. “Don’t you care?”

Ianto shrugged. “It’s part of the job.”

Jack looked thunderous. “If you think that’s all I think about when you come that close to death, then you can just fuck off home right now.”

Ianto pulled on his boxer shorts and got up. He reached for his pile of clothes, ready to walk out. Jack grabbed his arm.

“Are you seriously going to go? Do you really think that?”

“Jack, don’t.”

“Don’t what? Don’t confront you with this? Don’t comfort you? Don’t be honest with you?”

Ianto yanked his arm away. “You’re never honest with me. You never say anything.”

Jack let the silence hang for a moment, then spoke in a quiet voice. “Would you listen if I did?”

Ianto looked away and Jack sighed.

“What do you think this is about, Ianto? Do you know how I feel about this? About you?”

Ianto glanced at him. “You…you think I’m good at my job. You don’t like it when the others disregard me. You like my coffee. You like it when I take care of you and you like having sex with me.”

Jack blinked at him. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. But…that’s not all.” He pulled away.

“Sit down.”

“Jack…”

“No. Sit down on the bed and fucking listen to me for once.”

Ianto blinked, not quite sure where this anger was coming from. He sat down on the bed and looked up and Jack, waiting for him to speak.

Jack paced up and down the room, trying to gather himself. Finally, he turned and looked back at Ianto.

“Look, I’m not too good at this kinda stuff. Never have been.” He cracked a smile. “I was always better at the sex than, you know, all the other stuff. But…erm….maybe I can give it a go. I think it’s important that you hear it. Some people need that, you know. Some people need to be told how important they are.”

“Jack, what are you trying to say?”

Jack held himself still and looked at Ianto. “You…This isn’t about you as a member of the team. You’re a fantastic member of the team and completely equal to all of them. This isn’t about sex, either. I mean, don’t get me wrong. Just the fact that I get to have sex with you…it’s incredible. But, if I just wanted sex, I wouldn’t be doing it with you, not after Lisa.”

Ianto frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“You…you loved her so much. You love so hard, Ianto. I could never reduce anybody like you to just…a fuck buddy.”

Ianto could feel himself beginning to relax a little.

“You’re one of the team and, out there in the field, I have to treat you the same as the others. I have to think of you as just the same as them. Out there. But in here, Ianto, I have no choice about how I feel. You scared me today. You terrified me. Just the thought of you not coming back into this private world, just us, I can’t bear it, Ianto. The thought of you not being here with me, the thought of you not being in my arms, ever again…I just can’t handle it.”

Ianto stood and went over to Jack. He put his hands on Jack’s strong shoulders and looked into his eyes.

“Jack, what am I to you?”

Jack looked back at him, his face raw and open. “You’re my boyfriend and I am going to hold onto you for as long as I can.”

Comments

[bashfulflirt.livejournal.com]

wow... jack said the b word! yay for boyfriends lol.
talking about feelings too, he's getting brave isnt he? lol.
Loves it sweetie, as per! xx

[branwen-blaidd.livejournal.com]

lol, yeah, the dreaded b word!
brave boy!
Thanks!
xxx

[this-is-mel-87.livejournal.com]

it works it works it works

my my Jack's getting brave, love it!

[branwen-blaidd.livejournal.com]

Thank you!
So glad it works!

[sophonix.livejournal.com]

I don't know if you meant to make us cry, honey, but you certainly made me.
Both fics were so... intense. Like we could feel Ianto hurting, afraid of being just a fuck buddy.

Wonderful, really! =)

[branwen-blaidd.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you so much!
I'm so glad they had an emotional impact on you! I was scared they wouldn't have any impact at all!

Thank you!

[neyne.livejournal.com]

wow, this was a real good mixture of total hotness and emotions. love it!

[addled-nutcase.livejournal.com]

This is the best one yet. GOOOO> no GREAT JOB . Well Done !!!

[schnuckel.livejournal.com]

*Curls up and sighs happily*
PERFECT
I love each and everyone of your fics but I think this is my favourite.
No, it really is my favourtie.
^^ <3

[branwen-blaidd.livejournal.com]

WOW, really?
Wasn't expecting that!

[schnuckel.livejournal.com]

You really ought to, these are all fantastic pics.
Really fantastic.

[flmun.livejournal.com]

*whimper* Very good work. You may have broken my brain with the tender angsty-ness.

[witchcrow01.livejournal.com]

You love so hard, Ianto. I could never reduce anybody like you to just... a fuck buddy.

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

[totallytracy.livejournal.com]

I know you can't say it, can;t say it until it becomes canon but this was prety darn close and it was lovely...thank you for the sequel, it was perfect.

[thrace-adams.livejournal.com]

I love it when Jack calls Ianto his boyfriend. What a great sequel. So glad you wrote this! The sex was hot, and then Jack laid it all out on the line. *sigh*

[adjovi.livejournal.com]

just lovely! yay!

[left-wanting07.livejournal.com]

I'm an absolute sucker for Janto fics where they're officially Boyfriends. It's jarring because it seems like such a pedestrian word to apply to two amazing individuals, but there you go, I love it all the same.

Fantastic job! :)