Fic - Jealousy

[branwen_blaidd]

Title: Jealousy
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: Adult – language and implied sex.  
Spoilers: None. References to 2 x 4
Summary: Set after Meat, Ianto tells himself he isn’t jealous.
Disclaimers: I own nothing!
Notes: Sadly I’ve got writer’s block again. So this is probably rubbish. Ah well.

                                                                                     

 

Ianto watched Jack hold back his tears as he stared at the CCTV monitor and he knew not to interfere. Ianto sighed and leaned back against the door frame, clutching his whiskey. He didn’t really feel like trying to comfort Jack anyway. It had been a tough day for all of them. Even Owen was strangely quiet.

Ianto looked away from Jack and realised that Owen was looking at him. “Do you, erm,” said Owen in a low voice. “Do you think, since she’s gone, we can too?”

Ianto gave Owen a blank smile and nodded. He knew Jack wasn’t going to bother about doing any more work today.

Ianto looked back at Jack and listened to Owen and Tosh leave. Jack was still staring at the monitor, which now showed nobody they knew. Ianto sighed and sipped his whiskey. He’d been so close to death mere hours ago.

No. He wasn’t going to think about that. Jack wasn’t thinking about it, so why should Ianto? It didn’t matter. It was part of the job.

Ianto knew what Jack was thinking about. Gwen. She’d chosen Rhys over Torchwood and Ianto knew that just killed Jack. She’d chosen Rhys over Jack.

Ianto didn’t want jealousy to be part of his nature. It had been with Lisa, because he’d been so disbelieving of her love for him, for so long. It had driven him mad when she’d got attention from other guys and it had taken a lot of reassurrance from her before he’d relaxed about it.

Ianto had always determinedly pushed any hint of jealous away when it came to Jack. He knew he didn’t have the right to feel jealous when it came to Jack. It wasn’t a relationship, the way it had been with Lisa. A life together wasn’t inevitable. Even, after all they had been through, in Ianto’s head it was still little more than sex, for all his heart liked to disagree.

Ianto knocked back the rest of his whiskey and went to place the glass back on Jack’s desk. It was one of Jack’s own glasses.

“I’ll…see you tomorrow, sir.”

Jack’s eyes snapped to Ianto. “What’s with the Sir?”

Ianto shrugged. “Nothing, Sir. I just think I aught to be getting home.” He turned and made to walk away. Suddenly, he felt a tight grip on his wrist.

“Hey,” Jack’s voice was hard, commanding. He tugged on Ianto’s wrist to get him to look at him.

Ianto reluctantly turned back. Jack’s eyes were intense, looking straight at him.

“What’s the matter?” Jack asked.

Ianto pulled his arm away from Jack, trusting Jack not to use his superior strength against him.

“I think you want to be alone, Jack. I don’t want to intrude.”

“You can’t. You never intrude. Yan…Ianto, I’m not…Look, I’m sorry, okay? I don’t want to make you jealous.”

Ianto scowled. “I’m not jealous. Don’t you dare say I’m jealous.”

Jack looked at him, passively. “You’re not jealous?”

“No. I’m not.” Ianto’s voice was tight.

Jack grinned and reached out for his hand. “Come on, Ianto. I don’t mind. I’m actually a little flattered.”

Ianto yanked his hand away. “Fuck you, Jack.”

Jack raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth for some sort of smutty retort, but then he saw Ianto’s savage expression and his face fell.

“All right. Fine. You’re not jealous. So what is it?”

“Nothing, Jack. I’m just going to go home, have tea, watch telly and go to bed, like normal people do after work, all right?”

“Normal people?”

“Yes. Normal people don’t stay at work all night and shag the boss. Normal people don’t have to deal with this fucking shit.”

Ianto turned and actually managed to walk away. He heard Jack scrambling after him.

“Hey, wait!” Jack called.

Ianto didn’t stop. He just kept on striding right for the door, completely ignoring the fact that he was leaving his suit jacket behind.

Then Jack was grabbing his arm and pulling him back. “Hey, you are not walking out on me, Ianto!”

He yanked Ianto round to look at him. His eyes were burning with anger. “Hey, if you are upset, then we are going to fucking talk about it, okay?”

Ianto kept struggling, trying to yank his arm out of Jack’s grip but Jack held tight, looking into his eyes. Finally, breathless, Ianto stopped and sagged into Jack’s now tender grip.

“Jack, I don’t want…” Ianto whispered.

Jack stroked the back of his head. “What? You don’t want what?”

“I don’t want to die.”

Jack pulled back to look at Ianto. His eyes were tender but intense. “And you did before?”

“I…” Ianto looked away. “I used to. I didn’t notice until today that I’d stopped wanting to.”

Jack looked down and he looked almost sad. “Yeah. I…know how you feel.”

There was silence for a long moment and Ianto just listened to his and Jack’s breathing as they slowly fell into rhythm with each other.

Finally, Ianto spoke. “Jack,” he whispered into the silence.

Jack looked up at him. “Yeah?”

“Why were you crying over Gwen?” Ianto asked, wondering if he was going to regret the question.

Jack squirmed. “It…it wasn’t about Gwen exactly. It’s hard to explain, Ianto.”

Ianto pulled back from Jack’s half-embrace and folded his arms firmly across his chest. “You need to explain it to me, Jack. I don’t like feeling like this. I don’t like not knowing what this is and how I’m supposed to feel about you.”

Jack looked at him, for a long time, then sighed. “All right. I’ll try.” He sighed. “It’s not Gwen. It’s…it’s all of you. The four of you. You’re my team. My first team and I don’t want to lose any of you. Just the thought…the thought of losing any single one of you. I…I can’t bear it, Ianto.”

Ianto took in Jack’s face, the honesty in his eyes. Ianto realised he had been jealous. His chest had ached at the thought of Jack having such strong feelings for Gwen, stronger than for him. But Ianto wasn’t jealous anymore. Jack felt the same for all of them. Ianto was equal. He wasn’t just a bit on the side. He mattered.

Ianto lunged forward and pressed his lips to Jack’s in a claiming kiss. “Jack,” he whispered against the responding lips.

“Ianto,” Jack murmured, pressing his body into Ianto’s. “Can I take you to bed, Ianto?”

“Yes, Jack,” Ianto whispered, kissing his way down to Jack’s neck. “Please, Jack.”

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/__justaday/]

Oh how wonderfully balanced! I like to think Ianto gets jealous every now and then. If only for a short while. Thank you for sharing!

[fern-knight2012.livejournal.com]

I really loved this

[totallytracy.livejournal.com]

OK - this one needs a part 2....because Ianto is not an equal....I think he needs to understand he is an equal on the team but he is also so much more. I don't like it when Ianto doesn't realize how much he means to Jack....:)

But, having said that, loved the fic and loved that Jack knew something was up and wanted to talk about it.

[branwen-blaidd.livejournal.com]

See, I think Jack hasn't really communicated to Ianto how much he means to him and until he does, Ianto's not going to believe it. I think he resists his feelings for Jack as much as he can because he doesn't want to get hurt.

Thanks!

[totallytracy.livejournal.com]

See, I think Jack hasn't really communicated to Ianto how much he means to him and until he does, Ianto's not going to believe it.

I know he hasn't - that is what I am counting on you for....you and your wonderful fluffy writing.

[branwen-blaidd.livejournal.com]

Lol, thanks. I'll give it a go!

[naimu.livejournal.com]

>__________< ahh love overload!!!

[bashfulflirt.livejournal.com]

Err, I do hope there's another part after this missus!! lol.
Jealous/but-pretending-not-to-be-jealous!Ianto. Love it!

Aww poor Jack, all sad.
Loves it. =)

[branwen-blaidd.livejournal.com]

mmm, maybe *comes over all coy*

Thanks!
xxx

[bashfulflirt.livejournal.com]

I'll put it another way - write part 2 or i'll stop giving you accidental inspiration! LOL just kidding. dont hurt me lol xx

[thrace-adams.livejournal.com]

Oh this so wasn't rubbish! Not at all. I think Ianto does (and should) feel like this at times, and Jack, did a wonderful job explaining how he felt. Excellent story!

[left-wanting07.livejournal.com]

Mmmm, I love the feel of this. :) I would agree that Ianto gets jealous despite not being a "let's label this" kind of guy. The last two lines are made of Ianto-y goodness. You nailed it!

I second the call for a sequel in which Jack further clarifies that Ianto isn't just one of the crew to Jack. Soooo not an equal with, say, Owen!