branwen_blaidd

Title: Forever

By Branwen Blaidd & Oncoming Scone

Part Twenty Three of Thirty One

Pairing: Jack/Ianto

Rating: Adult - Dark Themes, Violence, Graphic sex, AU

Spoilers: Torchwood & Doctor Who all seasons to date.

Summary: Set after Exit Wounds and Journey’s End, no-one is coping with recent tragic events. In an attempt to bring the team back to unity and strength, Ianto makes a decision that will change the fate of Torchwood, and the world, Forever.

Disclaimers: Despite 5 months of creating this together, we own nothing and never will! The various songs, verses, etc do not belong to us either.

Notes: This is AU, though it begins in line with canon up to Exit Wounds. We hope to post one chapter each day at roughly the same time. Comments please!

Torchwood. Outside the Government. Beyond the police. Alone, they’re only human. Together…

That word. What they are. Who they were. Together. But now, they’d never been more separated.

They were in the conference room, around the table. Ianto sat with his hands clasped on top of the police report laid out neatly on the table and his eyes focused on Jack. Gwen absently chewed a finger and shifted in her seat, waiting for someone to say something. She’d tried and had been rewarded with Jack yelling at her to shut up.

Jack stood, hands on his hips, fingers flexing. He took deep breaths. He paced. He leant forward with his palms down on the table and glared at Gwen.

“Don’t look at her like that,” said Ianto, steadily. Gwen stared blankly at the table and fidgeted with her pen as Jack forced himself to look at Ianto.

Their eyes met across the table. Jack’s were a fearful, piercing blue; Ianto’s were a stern, dangerous grey. Jack could see from those eyes exactly how Ianto was feeling. Furious. Hurt. Disappointed. He opened his mouth to speak.

“You didn’t need to know…”

“Sit down,” said Ianto simply. His voice was soft but undeniable.

Gwen felt her heart jump. She glanced at Jack, wary of him losing his temper. Instead, he looked chastened and defeated. He sank into his chair with as much dignity as he could muster; eye line now firmly away from Ianto’s. His hands twisted in his lap.

“Tell me everything,” demanded Ianto, quietly. “Both of you.”

Gwen looked to Jack for permission, but he seemed far away. She could sense how close he was to losing all composure.

She took a deep breath. “Ianto,” she began. “It wasn’t obvious at first: what you did, I mean. We only noticed small changes…”

“I remember,” he said, flatly. “I came back. I was…angry about so many things. I remember the night you were injured.”

“That’s right,” she said.

There was a pause as he studied her. “Did I hurt you?” he asked, the strain in his voice almost giving him away.

“No,” she said, softly. “But you did seem rather interested in…”

“Blood,” he finished for her, his eyes still on hers.

“Yes,” she said, bravely. She bit her lip and then summoned her courage. “Ianto, as soon as we realised, we tried to stop you. But we were too late that night. Dylon Lloyd was murdered by the…”

She swallowed. Ianto had looked away and she knew he was remembering. She continued as best she could.

“He was murdered by the thing that possessed you. The vampire. It drained all of his blood. And after the autopsy it was also clear that there had been…intercourse. But no evidence of it being…I mean…they did think it was…”

“Consensual.” Ianto’s eyes fell closed and he breathed deeply. His eyes flew open again as he felt Jack shudder. “That’s what the report said.” Ianto sighed deeply, regarding Jack’s distance with veiled frustration.

Gwen glanced at Jack. His eyes were still staring into nothing and he appeared to be shrinking more and more into his chair. He was almost catatonic.

“What else happened?” asked Ianto, calmly.

Gwen shifted and sat forward, leaning on the table for support. The clinical delivery of the facts was making it easier for her. “You carried on hunting,” she said. She paused and stared at Ianto in horror. “I mean, not you…”

“It’s okay,” said Ianto almost inaudibly. “Then what?”

She blinked, startled by Ianto’s stony appearance. “The vampire found another victim but Jack and I arrived before it could harm her. He pushed her pretty hard but she was fine.”

Ianto cleared his throat. “Then what?”

“I chloroformed you,” said Jack, making them both jump. They’d almost forgotten he was there. He fiddled with his little spitfire cufflinks and stubbornly kept his gaze away from theirs. “I chloroformed you and locked you in the cell.”

“You mean ‘it’,” said Ianto, coldly.

Jack’s eye snapped to Ianto, panic striking his face.

Ianto gazed blankly at him. “It’s okay. I understand it must have been confusing for you.”

Their eyes met again. This time, Gwen was certain Jack was going to cry. He leapt to his feet to mask it.

“Confusing isn’t the word I’d use,” he choked, glaring at the floor and scowling.

“Sit down,” said Ianto evenly. This time it was almost cruel. Gwen felt a pang of guilt as she watched Jack crumble before her.

“That’s enough, Ianto,” she chided. “He was trying to protect you.”

“He lied to me.”

“Yeah well nobody’s perfect,” she said sharply.

Jack lowered himself into his chair once more, stunned. Lost.

“So that’s it?” asked Ianto casually. “Just the one murder? Oh and the questionable intercourse.”

He didn’t notice Jack flinch. But Gwen did.

“And does the other one count as attempted murder or common assault?”

“Stop it!” shouted Gwen. It was powerful enough to jerk Ianto out of his sarcastic onslaught. Lost for what to do next, he stood.

“Righti-ho then,” he said cheerfully, tucking his chair in and turning to leave. “I’ll just go and check myself into vampire rehab. Thanks for the memories.”

“Sit the fuck down!” It was Jack, now trembling with anger.

Ianto froze and his limbs shook and weakened as he took in the state of Jack. Ianto’s head throbbed. His resolve disappeared. Tears stung his eyes and he could hardly take a breath. The only thing left to do was obey Jack. So he pulled his chair back out and sat down.

“There’s more, Ianto,” said Jack in a low, measured tone. “After we locked you in the cell. I had to do something. I had to cure you, bring you back.”

Ianto shivered as Jack stared hard at him.

“In order to save you, I had to consume a drink…a kind of potion. And have you feed on me. That liquid, whatever it was, killed the demon in you.”

Silence. Gwen watched Jack’s face, not sure if he would go into further detail. But it seemed Ianto’s reaction had evoked the hard truths that Jack had tried so valiantly to conceal.

“Only thing was, in order for it to work, you had to drain my blood. You had to…kill me. So I guess I lied again, Ianto. You murdered two people. Technically.”

Ianto thought he might vomit. He’d killed Jack. He tried to reach out for some logic, some sense.

“But, it…it was s…s…safe,” he stammered. “You knew that. So you let me kill you because you knew you’d come back.”

“Kind of a comfy get-out clause, don’t you think?” Jack spat.

Ianto blinked at him, trying to ignore the fact he’d technically murdered his lover. But Jack was immortal, he told himself.

Jack’s hurt eyes momentarily softened. “I didn’t know I’d come back. That’s the truth. That was the price.”

Gwen watched the colour fade from Ianto’s face as the realisation sunk in. Her eyes flitted to Jack. She could see the regret. She could see him, believing he was watching Ianto lose the last of his innocence.

The air thickened around them and the silence stretched on for a long time.

“You took that risk to bring me back?” Ianto whispered.

“Yes.”

Ianto was breathing hard. “Why?” he said, his face showing disgust.

Jack scowled for a moment before forcing himself to breathe deeply and smooth out his face.

“Why?” he said bitterly. “Why, Ianto? Because of who you are. Because of what we stood to lose. Because there was a chance of getting you back after already losing half the fucking team. And because I fucking love you, you idiot!”

Gwen’s heart skipped a beat. She’d never expected to hear those words out of Jack’s mouth. She’d known for a while how Jack felt. It had been obvious to everyone, except for Ianto. But she hadn’t expected Jack to ever let himself admit it.

She fought against the emotion surging inside of her, surprised to be feeling anything good within this terrible mess.

But the men remained focussed on each other, eyes searching.

“A chance of getting me back?” asked Ianto. “So even that wasn’t certain?” His eye-line dropped and he pulled himself in, his hands clasping tightly to each other.

“Yes,” said Jack, simply.

“How stupid are you?” shouted Ianto unexpectedly. “You could have died! Really died. And the monster I was could have lived on. You would have died for nothing!”

Jack winced, glancing briefly away from Ianto.

But then he turned back, his expression severe. He lurched over the table and gripped Ianto’s chin hard.

“I have died for nothing,” he hissed through gritted teeth. “And I’ve died for everything. I’ve died to save an army; I’ve died to save one child; I’ve died to save my friends; I’ve died to save Cardiff and I’ve died to save the universe!”

Ianto’s entire body trembled and he gazed unblinkingly at Jack, tears spilling from his eyes. Gwen stared at them, stunned as Jack continued.

“But mostly, I’ve died repeatedly for no fucking reason. I should be dead, Ianto. I should have died over a hundred years ago and stayed that way. But I didn’t. So I carry on dying here, there and everywhere! With the pretence of being hero.”

His booming voice filled the conference room as he yelled right into Ianto’s face.

“I have died for nothing, more times than I can remember! For God’s sake, Ianto, I’ve died to get to the fucking post office on time so what the hell makes you think I wouldn’t die for you?”

There was a moment of absolute silence. Nobody breathed.

Ianto’s body hitched and his silent tears gave way to unrestrained sobs, his entire body heaving and shuddering.

Jack released his grip, a chill running through him as he noticed the red finger prints on Ianto’s jaw. Ianto hid his face in his hands and wept freely. And all Gwen and Jack could do was let him cry.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

angstosaur.livejournal.com

excellent update - really powerful and emotional ... well done :-)

doctorinchains.livejournal.com

WOW......absolutely powerful. A real kick in the gut, emotionally (I mean that as a compliment!)
“I have died for nothing, more times than I can remember! For God’s sake, Ianto, I’ve died to get to the fucking post office on time so what the hell makes you think I wouldn’t die for you?”
*am utterly broken*