Fic- Forever Part Twenty Six

[branwen_blaidd]

Title: Forever

By Branwen Blaidd & Oncoming Scone

Part Twenty Six of Thirty One

Pairing: Jack/Ianto

Rating: Adult - Dark Themes, Violence, Graphic sex, AU

Spoilers: Torchwood & Doctor Who all seasons to date.

Summary: Set after Exit Wounds and Journey’s End, no-one is coping with recent tragic events. In an attempt to bring the team back to unity and strength, Ianto makes a decision that will change the fate of Torchwood, and the world, Forever.

Disclaimers: Despite 5 months of creating this together, we own nothing and never will! The various songs, verses, etc do not belong to us either. 

Notes: This is AU, though it begins in line with canon up to Exit Wounds. We hope to post one chapter each day at roughly the same time. Comments please!

 

 

Ianto had never known Jack to be so quiet. It was starting to worry him. But as ever, when there weren’t words, there was touch. Jack was sitting meekly on the end of the bed staring into space. It was only seven o’clock and they were both trying to pretend they weren’t ready to go to sleep already. But they were both dead tired.

“Shoes off,” said Ianto.

“Can’t move,” replied Jack. “I’ve been possessed by something that wants me to stay where I am.”

Ianto rolled his eyes and stepped in front of Jack. “We’re going to spend five minutes getting undressed, and then you can lie down and not move for several hours. Good compromise?”

“No,” mumbled Jack. “Can’t move at all.”

“I see,” said Ianto. He knelt down and began to remove Jack’s shoes. Jack did nothing to help him, only sat there like a stubborn four year old. Jack liked this. He’d taken his own shoes off for decades. Someone else could do it for once.

Once Jack’s shoes and socks were off Ianto stood and folded his arms, looking sternly down at his insolent lover. Jack appeared to be trying not to giggle. Ianto gave in and chuckled with him.

How can someone so old look so helpless and young?

He crouched down and leaned into Jack. Their lips met in a kiss. Jack sighed into him. Unexpectedly, the contact seemed vital, life affirming and stimulating. Their hands travelled around one another’s bodies. Jack very quickly found he could move and shimmied up the bed, Ianto crawling on top of him. The kiss deepened and undeniable passion crashed through both of them.

Tongues battled, hips rocked and the air filled with heavy breathing. Ianto wrapped his arms around Jack so he was cradling him. It seemed so long since he’d held him properly. Made love to him.

He gazed down at Jack. His lips were pink and swollen, his face flushed, his eyes heavy lidded. Ianto went in for another powerful kiss before starting to strip Jack in earnest.

Jack closed his eyes snugly. Ianto’s soft touch was so good. He had no fight left in him, but felt supported. It had been too long. He felt safe in Ianto’s arms as he allowed the pleasure to wash over him.

And then he was being stripped. No thoughts. Just tender ministrations. He looked into Ianto’s eyes. They were kind, warm and deep blue. He returned the kiss as Ianto reached down and removed Jack’s trousers.

They were both surprised by how soon they were naked, but even more surprised that either of them had the energy for this. But it was so right. Tension and release.

“I’ve got you,” whispered Ianto.

Jack let his head relax back onto the bed with a sweet moan. He blinked. Ianto had said that fairly recently, hadn’t he?

But he couldn’t concentrate on that for the wonderful things Ianto was doing with his mouth. It was definitely too long since that had happened. He bucked up into Ianto and gasped his name, holding on tight to his shoulders.

Ianto paid attention to every part of Jack that he could, their arousal building and building with each second and every touch. How he loved to see Jack so mild, sighing in his arms. He pressed against him and they both groaned. “That’s it,” rasped Ianto. “Good boy.”

“Not a boy,” grumbled Jack with a deep scowl, but then he wriggled playfully underneath Ianto.

“Oh really?” Ianto sat back on his heels and flipped Jack on his front with a slap to his bottom. “Then why were you behaving like a naughty one all day?” He leaned forward and covered Jack’s body with his own, kissing and nuzzling his neck.

Jack froze. Ianto was at his neck, pressing hard. Jack was certain he could feel teeth.

Instantly he shook the thought away. Ianto was himself again. He wouldn’t harm him. He pressed back up into Ianto and tried to lose himself in that sweet pleasure that would transport him away.

“Fuck me,” he pleaded. “Want you.”

Ianto knelt back again, running soothing hands over Jack’s back. “You sure? You were too tired to move just a moment ago.”

“I’m sure,” groaned Jack, rolling his hips into the mattress.

But he wasn’t. Fear nudged at him. What if it hurt? What if he was damaged down there? Would it sting? Burn? Would he feel nothing but the memory of that hurt?

Jack just wanted it to be okay. He would make it okay. He would take it, no matter what. And everything would go back to normal.

“Take me,” he choked out.

“Oh I will,” growled Ianto, who was getting himself ready. “You’re mine.”

Mine

Jack froze, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to ignore the feelings surging up inside him. His arousal was ebbing away.

“Ianto…” he whimpered.

“Jack!” said Ianto, gripping Jack’s hips firmly and pulling him onto all fours. “Mine.”

Mine

Silently, Jack screamed. He wanted it to be okay. But it wasn’t. It just wasn’t.

Ianto. Please. Can’t.

His whole body went rigid as Ianto pulled back to prepare himself. He tried not to flinch away as he felt Ianto’s hand slide across his hip.

He winced, tears stinging his eyes. Ianto withdrew completely and Jack squeezed his eyes shut and waited for the burn of penetration.

But there was nothing. All was quiet.

He sat back on his heels and shifted round on the bed. Ianto was kneeling behind him; eyes staring, face ashen. His whole body was quaking.

“Ianto?” breathed Jack, now knowing nothing but concern.

There was no answer, just unsteady breathing and trembling hands. Jack couldn’t move.

“Ianto?” he urged once more.

“Ffydd,” answered Ianto.

* * *

Ianto was shaking. He simply shook his head. “Jack…” he breathed.

“It wasn’t you,” said Jack, approaching Ianto. He held out his hand. “Come here.”

“I…couldn’t…hurt…you,” whimpered Ianto, his breath hitching. “Jack…I…”

“Shhh,” soothed Jack. He pulled Ianto into him and wrapped a blanket around the two of them. “I know.”

Ianto trembled in his arms. “I remember. I remember. I remember,” he chanted. “Oh God Jack. You said the word and I…”

“It wasn’t you. It wasn’t,” whispered Jack.

Ianto pulled away slightly to look at Jack who had gone deathly pale. “It really happened?”

“Yes. It really happened. But I’m fine. I’m fine.”

Ianto’s eyes widened in horror and his mouth opened and closed several times as he searched for words.

“I’m fine, Ianto. Really, I’m fine,” Jack said, trying not to let his fear in his eyes show. But it did.

Ianto stared at Jack. “I remember. I remember everything. It’s back. Like a fog has lifted. That was the final memory.”

“Are you sure?” asked Jack, uncertain.

“Yeah. I remember it all. Everything we did…everything I did to you. And you let me…at first.”

“I didn’t know what was going on,” said Jack quickly. “You were…sort of… seductive…compelling”

“Because I was hypnotising you!”

“No. I remember when you were doing that. But there were times, before the Vampire got a real hold of you, that it was just you and me.”

Ianto nodded slowly. “That club. Before, when you…lied about it, you told me I was never there…”

“I’m sorry,” breathed Jack, feeling weak.

“It was because you didn’t want me to remember because…because you wanted to forget too.”

Jack tried to speak but couldn’t. The last of his resolve suddenly gave way with a loud sob and he dissolved in Ianto’s arms.

Ianto held onto him with all of his strength, offering all of his heart, giving up all he had to support Jack. Inside, he was slowly turning to stone. He let Jack weep for several minutes.

“I’m sorry,” sniffed Jack. “I know it wasn’t you, but…”

“I raped you,” said Ianto, coldly.

“Don’t use that word! You didn’t…rape me!” argued Jack. “It got out of hand. You were rough. You ignored me. It was just…the vampire taking what he wanted.”

Ianto winced and blinked slowly.

Jack was starting to panic. His words came fast, spilling over each other as they fell out of him. 

“I think the hypnosis was working at that point; perhaps you didn’t even know how to use it. I remember that foggy feeling. I couldn’t work out what to say to you. I didn’t even say ‘no’. You were too caught up. I was…It just got…out of hand.”

Silence. Ianto closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

“No, Jack,” he said, softly. “You told me to be gentle and I wasn’t. Rape is about power, not sex. A rapist uses actual force or violence, or even just the threat of it, to take control over another human being. You used our safe word and I ignored you.”

Jack swallowed hard and spoke softly, his voice small. “It wasn’t you.”

Ianto ignored him. “I hurt you.”

“I’m fine now,” said Jack. “Really.”

“I can’t believe I did this. I did every kind of evil act and I did it to you.”

“Not every kind of evil, Ianto.”

“Oh right. I guess I didn’t have time to commit tax fraud between the rape and murder.”

Jack flinched. “Don’t use that word,” he whispered.

Ianto sighed. “It’s all come back to me now. All in a rush. The fog’s all gone.” His voice was distant. “Don’t know why it took so long.”

Jack shuffled against the pillows. “Our brains are clever. They often only release as much information into your consciousness as they know you can handle,” he explained.

“How could anyone handle this?” asked Ianto, his voice breaking.

Jack held onto him. “We’ll handle it together. It wasn’t you, Ianto. In time, you’ll be able to detach yourself from these memories. I promise.”

Ianto couldn’t speak any more. Jack tugged him tighter into his arms and they lay down together, pulling the blankets futher over them.

Now the secret was out, Jack felt the last of his tension drift away. He moved in as close to Ianto as possible and allowed himself to flirt with sleep. And soon enough, he was slumbering in Ianto’s arms.

But Ianto could not rest. He could see it all. The blood, the sex, the hurt he’d caused.

Music drifted through his mind, that pounding beat.

Blue eyes. He’s on the dark side.

The words pounded in his head and he remembered how alive he’d felt, how dominating, how powerful.

Tea Boy wanted to be with you forever. So sweet. Only he didn’t realise how good this would feel. I didn’t know, Jack.

Ianto could see that dark creature he’d been, could see the hurt he’d caused Jack.

I can fuck you and kill you ten times a day for the whole of eternity, and we can still play scrabble together after dinner!

How that monster had enjoyed hurting Jack. Ianto felt sick to think of it.

Tell me you don’t want me to fuck you so hard you go flying back to the stars and finally know some peace.

When I get out of here, I’m going to sink my teeth into your neck and bleed you dry.

You’re my human, do you know that? I’ll have you, take you, fuck you and make you die over and over again and you’ll have no choice. I’ll keep you, drain you every fucking day. And you’ll beg me to do it over and over again.

Ianto choked on it, choked on the memories cloying at him. They thudded over and over again in his mind. He could smell the incense. Every single thing was tainted with it.

Ianto turned his face into Jack, who lay sleeping so peacefully.

“I don’t know how to live with this. I don’t know how you are going to live with this. With me.”

He breathed deeply and, for the last time, allowed himself to cry into Jack.