Fic- You Can't Save Everyone

[branwen_blaidd]

Title: You Can’t Save Everyone

Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: Teen

Spoilers: Cyberwoman, Small Worlds
Summary: Ianto wants to comfort Jack. Set right after Small Worlds.

 Disclaimers: I own nothing!

Notes: Comments please!

 

 

Ianto knew grief. He could recognise it. He knew it intimately and he knew Jack was grieving.

Ianto gazed at his monitor, watching Jack through the CCTV camera. Jack hadn’t moved for a while. Since the others had stormed off on him, he’d just sat there at his desk staring at the smooth wood.

Ianto wanted to go and see him. He wanted to comfort him. He knew he was grieving the death of the old woman, although Ianto couldn’t quite figure out what their relationship was exactly. But Ianto  recognised the deep grief. He also knew that Jack was grieving the loss of Jasmine to those weird fairy things.

Several times, Ianto had got up and made for Jack’s office. But each time, he’d pulled back. Jack had looked after him so many times but Ianto knew he could never do as well for Jack.

As Ianto watched in the screen, Jack suddenly put his head down on the desk and his shoulders started to shake.

Immediately, Ianto got up and went through to the office. He didn’t say anything, just went to Jack’s drinks’ cabinet and poured him a drink.

He set the drink on the desk. Hesitantly, his hand reached out for Jack’s shoulder and let it linger for just a second. He remembered the feeling of Jack’s hand on his shoulder that morning, the quiet comfort his Captain had brought him. He wanted to do the same for Jack.

Jack raised his head, wiping a hand over his wet face. “You’re still here.”

“Yes. I know you told us to go home but…”

Jack leaned back in his chair. “It’s all right. Hey, hang on. You’re still talking to me.”

Ianto’s eyebrows shot up. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Jack shrugged. “The others aren’t. They’re mad at me.”

“About Jasmine?”

“Yes.”

“Was…was there anything else you could have done, Jack?”

Jack looked up at him. “Well, no, not really.”

“Then I don’t see the point in being mad. Have a drink.”

Jack smiled and reached out for the glass Ianto had put out for him. “Pour yourself one too.”

“Thank you.” Ianto poured himself a whiskey and took a sip. Jack had good whiskey. “That woman, the one who drowned, did you love her?”

Jack took in a sharp breath, then he forced a smile. “I knew her for a long time.”

Ianto nodded, his eyes knowing. “You did love her, like I loved Lisa. I can see it.”

Jack gazed down at his hands. “Yeah, I did.”

“And she knew that. She knew you loved her.”

“Yes.”

Ianto put his hand on Jack’s shoulder. “Then you gave her something wonderful.”

“I just wish she could have known the truth.”

“What truth?”

Jack glanced up at him. For a moment he looked like he was going to spill all his secrets, but then his eyes darkened and he looked back at the desk.

“Nothing. It’s not important.”

Ianto stayed silent for a long moment, listening to Jack’s unsteady breathing and sipping whiskey with him.

Jack sighed and leaned back in his seat. “I wish everything was easier. I wish there weren’t so many hard decisions in the world. They all seem to fall to me.”

“You’re the boss,” said Ianto, with a small smile. “And you’re a good one.”

Jack looked up at Ianto. “I wish I could have saved Jasmine. I wish I could have saved Lisa for you.”

Ianto felt his breath hitch and he swallowed down the sob which threatened his calm. But at the same time, he felt a weight lift from inside his chest. He put his hand on Jack’s shoulder and this time he let it stay.

“You can’t save everyone,” he whispered. “Not Jasmine. Not Estelle. Not Lisa.”

Jack covered Ianto’s hand with his own. “You can’t save everyone,” he repeated. “As long as I can save someone.”

Ianto swallowed. “You saved me.”

Jack looked up at him and smiled a real smile. “Then it’s all worth it.”