Fic- Meaning

[branwen_blaidd]

Title: Meaning
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: Unrated  
Spoilers: References to End of Days and Adam
Summary: Set late in season one, Ianto thinks about Jack.
Disclaimers: I own nothing!
Notes: This is just a short drabble really.

 

 

He has become my world. He is colour in the blackness. He is arms holding me keeping me from falling. He is music in silence. Jack. I am his.

 

But god, sometimes I hate him. He never says anything and I am left to wonder ceaselessly what he really feels. About me. about those he flirts with. About everything.

 

I know he’ll leave one day. He’ll go off to find his doctor. He’ll leave us to deal with the aliens by ourselves

 

He’s told me he can’t die but maybe he’s lying and he’ll get killed on some mission. Or I will.

 

Or he’ll go off with somebody else, someone new and exciting. He loves new things as I love old things.

 

But despite all that, despite knowing I can’t count on him, I do.

 

His arms send the nightmares away. His body celebrates the good dreams with me.

 

He gives me such pleasure that I never dreamed of and he shows me so many new things.

 

And after all that, he’ll just hold me, snuggle with me in bed and we’ll talk in whispers about everything and nothing and he always knows when something is wrong.

 

Coming here gave me meaning again. He gave me meaning. He gave me everything.

 

And if he ever finds out that’s what I feel, I’ll have to dose him with retcon.