Fic - Loyal Soldier

[branwen_blaidd]

Title: Loyal Soldier
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: Adult – swearing and sexual references  
Spoilers: 1x11, Captain Jack Harkness
Summary: Set after Captain Jack Harkness, Ianto and Jack deal with the events in that episode.
Disclaimers: I own nothing!
Notes: Comments=love=more fics! Warning- drunk!Jack, angry!Jack (but nothing Ianto can’t deal with)

 

After everyone else had gone home, there was Ianto. There was always Ianto. Jack knew Ianto didn’t like going home and, in the past few months, if he did go home it was only to wash and change clothes.

Normally, Jack welcomed Ianto, welcomed him into his arms and into his bed. But tonight, all Jack wanted to do was brood and drink himself to sleep.

Ianto was busying himself at the coffee machine as Jack sat in his office ignoring him and getting better acquainted with the bottom of his whiskey bottle.

Jack had decided. The moment Ianto approached him, Jack was going to tell him where to go. He really wasn’t in the mood to have Ianto timidly asking for sex.

Jack watched Ianto calmly work the coffee machine. His black silk waistcoat shone under the dim lights of the hub. The waistcoat was fitted and showed off Ianto’s slim waist to perfection.

Jack looked away. He didn’t want to think about that. It felt like a betrayal. He should be back in 1941 with Jack. He should have done something, should have stopped it from happening. It was a betrayal to Jack to be here with Ianto. It had been a betrayal to Ianto to be there with Jack.

Jack closed his eyes. He didn’t want to think.

He heard Ianto’s steps, quiet on the concrete floor. There was the soft clink of china on wood, then Ianto’s soft voice broke into the air.

“I brought you some coffee.”

Jack, eyes still closed, drained the last of the whiskey in his glass.

“It’ll sober you up.”

Jack was sure he detected the slightest hint of bitterness in Ianto’s voice, just the slightest bit.

Jack slammed his glass down and glared at Ianto. “What the fuck are you still doing here, Ianto?”

Ianto met his gaze unflinchingly. “I wanted to make sure you’re all right.”

Jack pushed himself to his feet and stomped over to Ianto. He didn’t stagger. No. He definitely didn’t stagger.

Ianto didn’t back away. He stood his ground.

Jack stormed forward and pushed into Ianto, thrusting his hand up against Ianto’s chest, forcing him backwards.

Ianto took one, two steps then stopped, pushing back against Jack.

Jack got in his face. “What the fuck do you want, Ianto? What the fuck are you here for? You want me to fuck you?”

He shoved Ianto hard. “You want me to shove you up against the wall and fuck you into the brick, huh?” He grabbed Ianto’s hair. “You’ll have to beg me. Go on. Beg me to fuck you into that wall.”

Ianto’s breathing stayed deliberately slow and regular. He reached up and took hold of Jack by the wrist. Carefully, he eased Jack’s hand out of his hair and down.

“I am not going to beg you for anything, Jack.” His voice was cold.

Jack yanked his wrist away and shoved Ianto hard, forcing him a few steps back.

“Fuck off, Ianto.”

Ianto straightened himself, his hands clenching momentarily into fists, then relaxing again.

“Drink your coffee, Jack.”

Jack slumped against his desk. He gazed blindly about the room and reached for his coffee. Ianto knew he wasn’t really aware he was obeying Ianto, but that didn’t matter. So long as Jack drank his coffee.

Ianto watched as Jack threw the coffee down his throat, swearing as it burned his mouth.

“Fucking hell,” he murmured.

Ianto just watched him. Jack sagged against the desk. Ianto looked him up and down. Jack’s knees were wobbling.

Ianto lurched forwards just in time to catch Jack as he suddenly slid to the floor. Ianto managed to ease Jack’s descent to the floor before he was pushed away and Jack brought his knees up to his chest and buried his head in his arms.

Ianto stood and watched Jack, his arms firmly folded across his chest. Jack was breathing hard and noisily.

Ianto waited. His arms itched to curl around Jack but he knew it was too soon. All an embrace right now would cause was anger. So he waited.

Finally, Jack’s breathing eased and he glanced up at Ianto. His face was wet. Jack immediately looked away again.

“I’m…I’m sor…”

“Don’t apologise to me, Jack,” Ianto said firmly.

Jack’s eyes snapped back to Ianto. Ianto gazed down at him, his arms still firmly across his chest.

“I want to know what happened.”

Jack opened and closed his mouth several times, then looked away. “There was someone else. While I was gone, someone who I…well, things happened.”

“The real Captain Jack Harkness.”

Jack looked back at Ianto. “But…how do you know that?”

“Because you don’t exist, Jack. You’re from the future. You told me that yourself. But there was a Jack Harkness, wasn’t there? That was him in 1941. So, what happened?”

Jack looked away, staring down at his hands. “I don’t know what you’re asking me.”

“I’m asking about your feelings, Jack.” He smiled. “I realise this may be an alien concept.”

“Ianto, I’m sorry.”

“Jack, stop saying that. I don’t want apologies. They’re not important. I just need to know what happened so I can help you.”

“You think I need help?”

“Yes. I do.”

Jack sighed and leaned back against his desk, still sitting on the floor. He gazed up at the ceiling. “I never…expected to see him, to meet him. And I…it never even entered my head that I might…fall for him.” He gave a bitter smile. “That I’d feel anything for him.”

Slowly, Ianto moved forward and quietly took a seat beside Jack on the floor. “But you did,” he said gently. “What did you feel for him, Jack?”

Jack shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe…maybe it was love. Of a sort.  A love I could let go of because I knew he died the next day.”

“A simple love,” Ianto whispered.

Jack nodded. “Yeah.” Jack stretched out an arm and curled it around Ianto’s waist. Ianto didn’t cuddle into the embrace but he didn’t brush it away either. “I wasn’t a good person when I took his name. I used him and back then I didn’t feel the least bit of guilt about it.”

“But now he’s real.”

“Yes. Yeah. He’s so real. He was there in my arms. I kissed him and he clung to me. He held onto me so tightly and I held onto him. I wanted to stay. Just for an instant, I wanted to stay, hide away in that time and just be with him, easy and uncomplicated.”

He turned and looked at Ianto. “Ianto, have you ever loved anybody like that? Loved the person they were in your own head, loved the part of you they brought out? Loved the hero you thought they were?”

Ianto looked evenly back at him. “Yes. I have, Jack.”

“What happened?”

Ianto smiled. “I grew up. I found the real person behind the hero.”

Jack sighed and let his head fall back against the desk. He withdrew his arm from Ianto and held his hands over his own knees. He let the silence hang for a long moment.

Ianto let his own head fall back against the desk and he just listened to Jack’s breathing, waiting for him to speak.

Finally, he did. “You did really well, Ianto. I watched the CCTV. You stood up to Owen, did your best to do what you knew I would have ordered.”

“I didn’t succeed though, did I? He still did it.”

“Yeah. And whatever happens will happen. There’s nothing we can do except deal with it.” He paused. “I heard what he said to you. You know he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, don’t you?”

“Yes. You need me. You’ve told me.”

“Yeah.”

Ianto shifted slightly. “Owen…Owen said he’d lost his lover and his captain to that rift.”

“Yeah, well I’m back now.”

“I know. You’re my captain. You’re our captain. But all I could think was that I lost my lover too.”

Jack reached out and found Ianto’s hand. He squeezed their hands together but didn’t look at Ianto.

“Yeah, well I’m back now. And I’m not going anywhere.”

Ianto shifted closer and let his head rest on Jack’s shoulder. “My Captain,” he murmured.

Jack put his arm around Ianto, tugging him closer. “My Loyal Soldier.”