branwen_blaidd

Title: Forever

By Branwen Blaidd & Oncoming Scone

Part Twenty Eight of Thirty One

Pairing: Jack/Ianto

Rating: Adult - Dark Themes, Violence, Graphic sex, AU

Spoilers: Torchwood & Doctor Who all seasons to date.

Summary: Set after Exit Wounds and Journey’s End, no-one is coping with recent tragic events. In an attempt to bring the team back to unity and strength, Ianto makes a decision that will change the fate of Torchwood, and the world, Forever.

Disclaimers: Despite 5 months of creating this together, we own nothing and never will! The various songs, verses, etc do not belong to us either.

Notes: This is AU, though it begins in line with canon up to Exit Wounds. We hope to post one chapter each day at roughly the same time. Comments please!

Ianto retraced his steps back through the office. He replaced his picture back in the tin. Jack was going to remember him now. He only hoped he remembered the good in there, beneath all that pain.

Jack was sleeping peacefully, evenly. Ianto undressed, hanging his suit back up in the wardrobe. He gazed at his face in the mirror.

It was the same old face. Tired, with slight bags under his eyes. He wasn’t smiling; he just looked thoughtful. His teeth were ordinary and blunt. His skin was only Welsh-white, not vampire white. His eyes were a soft grey blue, his da’s eyes. He searched his reflection for that evil. He remembered seeing dark power in his eyes and liking it.

But, now, there was only worry and exhaustion. He was simple. He was human. He was Jack’s boy. And Jack was his boy. And Jack loved him.

Ianto climbed into bed and pressed his naked body close to Jack’s, sharing the warmth there under the blankets. He caressed Jack’s face.

“Now the darkness only stays the night-time

In the morning it will fade away.”

He whispered the words softly, hopefully. That was all he wanted; the darkness to fade away and peace to return.

* * *

Jack never knew about Ianto’s journey into the darkness, or his return with Gwen. He only knew that Ianto wanted things to be normal again.

Days had gone by. Ianto had been quiet, thoughtful. Jack tried to talk about things but Ianto merely smiled and softly whispered that there was no need to talk.

“Gwen, do you think he’s…all right?” Jack asked as he watched Ianto wander off for his lunch break and some fresh air.

She smiled. “Yes. He’s…digesting.”

Jack frowned. “He hasn’t had his lunch yet.”

She hit him on the arm. “Don’t be dense. He’s working through everything he’s been through, everything he put us through.”

“He didn’t put us through anything,” Jack snapped. “It wasn’t him.”

“Jack.” Her voice snapped on the word and he jumped.

“What?”

“You have to let him take responsibility.”

“I don’t want him to get hurt.”

“He’s already hurting. And he needs to hurt. If he wasn’t hurting, he’d still be that other thing, that creature.”

Jack frowned and stared down at his shoes. “Yeah, I guess. I just want to wrap him up and keep him safe.”

She patted his arm where she’d hit it. “I know. He’s so young, we all want to do that. Tosh always used to say she wanted to just bundle him up and cuddle him to death.”

Jack smiled dreamily. “Even Owen used to call him a boy.”

Gwen giggled. “Don’t tell me you’re getting dreamy about the ‘teaboy’ nickname? A good way to get into trouble with Ianto, that is.”

Jack grinned. “Precisely. Maybe I can find one of Owen’s old memos he addressed to ‘teaboy’ and…you know pass them on to Ianto.”

Gwen held up her hand dismissively. “Whatever. I do not want to know about your sordid sex games with office equipment, thank you.”

Jack grinned. “Why not? They’re the best ones in my view.” He started to walk away. “You know, desks, chairs, rulers, the CCTV system.” He sauntered away, hands behind his back whistling and happy. She shook her head in amusement. Normality. Just a little bit of normality, just right.

She chewed her pencil and gazed at the photographs of Tosh and Owen on her desk. She grinned at Tosh.

“Thanks for that lesson on the CCTV system, Tosh. Now I know just how to hack into it.”

* * *

Ianto didn’t eat lunch. He didn’t feel hungry. Instead, he wandered. He didn’t know quite where he was going but something took him to his car. He drove along, taking in the quiet scenes of normality around him. They soothed him, made him feel a little part of that world.

He didn’t notice but soon he was driving through his old neighbourhood in Newport, where he’d grown up. He remembered climbing those trees; running along that pavement; balancing on that low brick wall; playing knock and run on Mister Peter’s flaky red door.

He remembered growing up in that house, snuggling up in his bed and listening to his dad tell bible stories and soothe him with prayers.

He parked the car against the pavement of his old house and took it in. Every evening when he’d finished his homework, he’d been allowed one hour to go to the park before tea and bed. He’d found the shortest way and he would run as fast as he could so he could spend as long as possible playing at the park.

He locked up his car and, barely knowing what he was doing, he broke into a run. His feet pounded along the hot pavement. The sun caressed him from above. His lungs felt heavy and his limbs began to ache but he kept running as fast as he possibly could. He was free.

He reached the park. It was empty. Well, mid-day on a week day, the only people who would be here would be the druggies but Mrs Robertson scared them away on a regular basis. It was The Umbrella which did it. Ianto at been at the sharp end of its metal tip more than once for screaming too loudly with delight on his way down the slide.

He rubbed his arm at the fifteen year old memory of pain on it. He smiled and took a seat on the old metal swing. How simple life had been back then. Mind your manners. Be home on time. Keep your room clean and your clothes tidy. Pray to God every night before bed. Simple rules. Simple time.

Now he was in charge of his own life. He’d made a mess of it. There was no punishment to take away the guilt, just the guilt itself. He had to live with it. It was all he could do. He had to live with what he’d done, try and make amends for it. There was so much to make up for. He’d never have enough time. But, at least, he could spend every day trying.

You must do right or your soul will be lost and you won’t go to heaven.

That lesson had been drummed into him over and over again as a child. At school, at church, at Sunday school. He’d believed it. He’d always tried to do good. He’d always tried to help people, to do the right thing. He’d thought about his soul sometimes.

Everyone wanted their soul to be saved, he supposed. Except if you didn’t believe in souls, like Jack. Maybe Jack was right. Maybe there were no souls, no God, no heaven. There was the devil but that was different. Ianto had become a devil, become that evil which sought to hurt, and loved it.

But that was gone now. That creature had died. And maybe the vampire had gone to hell and left Ianto alone to make up for everything they’d done together.

Ianto smoothed his hands up and down the slippery grey metal of the swing. He pushed off with his feet and began to swing, slowly at first, then higher and higher.

He remembered the innocent boy he’d once been, when his biggest worry had been getting his homework finished on time. He remembered the time before the arguments, before he’d lost those he loved, before all the pain.

He could never be that innocent boy again. Never. But he knew, knew, that he was a good person inside. He’d done terrible things. He’d hurt people. But he was still there, still himself.

He swung back and forth, letting the air whisk past him and take all his thoughts away. He was just a boy, playing on a swing.

He didn’t care about souls. All he wanted was to be with Jack for as long as he could, and to make amends. And he would do it. He would spend every moment of his doubtless-short life making amends.

He swung back and forth on his swing, gripping the grubby metal tightly. He would make it right, even if he had to spend the rest of his life doing it. It would all be right again.

* * *

The rift was getting its revenge. After all its quiet over the past few weeks, it was catching up. The work was non-stop. Gwen was kind of grateful. It was forcing them back to reality, their warped normality.

Ianto was efficient, throwing his entire self into his work. He worked with Jack in perfect symmetry, the perfect team. Gwen was reminded of that weevil hunt two weeks ago, the way Jack and Ianto worked together. But now, Ianto was just himself.

“Jack, more weevils,” Ianto called across the hub.

“Again?” Impatience bit at Jack’s voice. It was getting late and all he wanted was to let the day finish and go to bed with Ianto.

Gwen grabbed more weevil spray from the medical bay. They’d run low. “Do we have room in the cells for any more weevils?”

“We might have to open the last level of cells,” Ianto said, rushing across the hub to help Jack into his coat.

Gwen had struggled to find a word for how things were now. She thought about it as they travelled to the latest weevil sighting.

Jack and Ianto sat in the front. Jack was driving and Ianto was directing him. She watched them and smiled, despite the urgency of the situation. They were completely in synch, as if they could reach each other’s thoughts. They were back to normal. They were together. They were…even.

She was happy. They were happy. All three of them together. She smiled dreamily at them. Her lost boys, found again.

“Gwen? Gwen, hello? Anybody in there?” It was Ianto.

She blinked at him. “What?”

Ianto grinned at her. “Drifting off there a bit?”

“Yeah, sorry.”

He smiled. “It’s all right.”

“What were you saying?”

“Just making sure you know what you’re doing. You got your spray?”

“Yeah.” She held it up. “Right here.”

“Right, kids,” said Jack, in that brisk tone. “Here we are! Everybody out.”

“Trying to establish yourself as the boss again, Jack?” Ianto said, smirking as he climbed out of the car.

Jack gave him an affectionate little push. “Now, now. Don’t get cheeky. You know perfectly well I am the boss.”

Ianto smirked wider. “Just keep telling yourself that, Jack.”

Gwen couldn’t help but giggle to herself as they hurried over to where Ianto’s scanner was picking up the weevils. There were quite a few of them huddled in one corner of a dark alley on the edge of Cardiff.

Jack, Ianto and Gwen hurried over, gripping their sprays and with their guns at their sides. They never shot weevils if they could help it.

Ianto was the first into the fray. They all knew how to do this. Gwen grappled with her weevil, oblivious to everything around her. She could hear Ianto and Jack both grunting with their weevils.

Her weevil went down, taking her spray right in the face. It was only then she heard the shouts.

She struggled to her feet. She was hazy with exhaustion but, in the darkness, she could see shadows running towards them. Jack and Ianto were on their feet, their guns drawn.

“Stay right where you are,” Jack barked, aiming his gun towards the intruders.

Gwen fumbled for her gun.

“Them’s our monsters!” shouted a rough voice.

“Step back,” called Jack. “We’re Torchwood and you don’t wanna mess with us.”

“Shut the fuck up, yank,” spat one of the men striding towards them.

Jack clicked his gun. “I’m warning you. One more step.”

Gwen saw the intruding men had guns too and they were all pointed straight at them.

Ianto’s eyes flitted between the strangers and Jack. His hands gripped his gun tightly, feeling his heart pound. All the weevils were now unconscious behind them and he could feel the tension in Jack as he faced down the strangers.

There were four of them. Ianto could just make them out in the darkness. Jack was preparing his shot. He’d picked out the leader and he was sure he could drop him in a second.

The leader’s eyes narrowed. They had to get out of here, without their monsters if necessary. He clenched his free fist, aimed his gun and shot right at the head of the lad in the suit.

There was a cry and several more shots aimed at them. But they had gone.

Gwen had seen it all happen so slowly. The shot was fired. The bullet struck Ianto right between the eyes and he went down.

Jack screamed with anguish and fired several shots in the direction of the men. But they had already gone and he didn’t care.